There are roughly three people I text on a daily basis, and they deserve a break.
As a way to maintain the sustainability of my friendships, I decided to start a blog. I do not blame them, frankly, for their absent responses to my complaints, absurd interactions with strangers and acquaintances alike, the novel idea of the day, which will ultimately go unrealized, or the issues I have with the price of the sandwich I eat at least twice a week. If I were them--which I am not--I would have made up some extraordinary circumstance by now as to why I cannot reply and why I do not have the time to return my phone call(s). This is my attempt to protect their peace of mind.
With that being said, I am redirecting this externalization of personal thought towards more digital audiences. I have never found peace with the Internet. As a late-bloomer in every regard, my relationship with the Internet didn't form until I went to university, where everyone had already found Tumblr, and when I tried to look up what that was, Google provided me with listings for insulated thermoses. Unbeknownst to me, there was no e in Tumblr.
A boyfriend I once had would often complain about my offlineness, citing my difficulty with understanding any of their references to then-deleted YouTube videos or Vines. When they would ask what I did growing up, I didn't have much of an answer. It wasn't like I was operating at some other extreme. I was neither engrossed in novels nor in video games, and frankly, I didn't care much for either. I cannot seem to remember what I spent most of my time doing, but I do know that I rode my bike a lot, for hours, listening to Pandora Radio or songs I downloaded off LimeWire. Really, I think I was just busy daydreaming, which is to say, I was preoccupied with whatever wasn't real or what could possibly become of my life. (Then again, no one ever diagnosed me as dissociative.)
So, now I am here, and as a graduate student in a creative writing program, I spend more time editing than I do writing. a-postrophe will be more concerned with the freedom of the latter, and I will treat this as any other text (re: SMS, not a Barthesian "text"). I will rarely look back or think too hard about a better way of putting it because here, the Internet is my friend, however unrequited.
Somewhere in this area, in future posts, I will be sure to include my current obsessions. Right now, I don't care to do that. I am tired.
b.b.